I read an article about the corruption in the Cameroon port and how difficult customs is. As I read I flashbacked to Advance and found myself becoming anxious and my stomach started to churn and I thought to myself “Oh gosh, I need to do something!” But that isn’t my job anymore.
My main job is to process and heal from the last five years and specifically from the last Advance in Cameroon.
But if I can let you in on a secret and be honest with you, I’m not doing so well at that job right now.
For as amazing and wonderful as my experience was, it was just as difficult and re-entry has been anything but easy. I traveled for a few months which was a beautiful distraction but in the long run hasn’t helped me to process.
I came home in September burned out, physically unhealthy, mentally worn down and spiritually dry. Since leaving the ship I’ve developed anxiety, I cry at the drop of hat and I’m still afraid to put my purse on the ground, among other new quirks and irrational fears.
A friend reached out to me a couple weeks ago and suggested I look into a Intermissionary retreat. That same day my friend who runs Intermissionary messaged and wanted to know how I was. I know enough to know it was time to consider admitting I’m not ok and need help to process.
I need help to get back to healthy and to wade through the highs and lows of my experience in a safe space with people from similar situations. While I know one week won’t solve all my problems or fix the hurts completely, I do know it will help.
Though this is a much needed debrief it is totally unplanned for and also not budgeted for in my re-entry savings and being on a nonprofit salary I can’t really afford the costs.
I am thankful to have received a scholarship which covers most the retreat cost but there is about $2,300 that remains for travel costs (it’s in Europe) and the remaining portion of the retreat fee.
Would you consider making one last gift to my Mercy Ships experience and help me to get emotionally, mentally and spiritually healthy again?
Please send gifts through PayPal (paypal.me/kjstella) or email me (firstname.lastname@example.org) for more information on how you can support my debrief.
*If financial goal isn’t reached donated funds will be returned